"Jew"dass Kiss

Revenge, Retribution or even Quid pro quo are all deified in our society. The most vindictive man wins the spoils.( I still don't know why taking other people's stuff after a battle is called taking the "spoils',but after experiencing "inequitable" distribution, I know there is something to that negative moniker. It is still better than "booty") Us evolved humans use karma as our crutch. We believe that every dog that bites and pisses on us will get their day of divine retribution or come back as cats, but in in the heat of betrayal, letting go feels like a lukewarm cup of coffee.  Jews are taught that it is a sin to take revenge, even if they have been kissed by fellow "Yehudas",  which is the most hurtful thing of all.

Working in many different industries as a sales person, I have encountered many Glenngarry Glenn Ross types who cry justifiable homicide for a financial killing.  From "hey, it's business" or "everyone does it" to "my inner moral compass won't pay the bills", I have felt the machete so deep into my "kishkes"(intestines to my gentile friends) that I thought I resembled a human pinata.  I realized I didn't bleed candy or hemoglobin, but rather a  fruity, yet tasty Merlot that gets better with age. Now I am digressing, but you get the picture.  The word "sodomized" would be way too gentle to describe the massacre. I may have gotten mad, but I never got even.  Some higher power I refer to as Hashem did and it wasn't sweet.

In similar scenarios played out on the well-tread landscape of my life, I have encountered many devastating disappointments and shocking attacks, even from the most unexpected sources i.e family and friends.  I have always believed in the innate goodness of everyone and therefore am still  whiplashed when it happens.  Being a single mom who raised my kids under difficult circumstances intensified the injuries.  Not to go into specifics and be just another badmouthing blogger, I will just iterate the fact that anyone who preys on or disregards the meek, disenfranchised and defenseless suffer the most, even when it isn't blatantly apparent to anyone, including TMZ who seem to know everything!

  For years I had been struggling financially and emotionally and had to run after opportunity and people, even downright begging.  Being the perpetual optimist, I always saw the benefit of feeling like a hungry platoon leader in a foxhole.  I got closer to my faith, my children and most of all, every facet of my core and character. While feeling humbled and frequently humiliated, I had the luxury of being honest to myself and others. I was free-falling, holding on to my precious diamonds with my eyes closed and praying for miracles.  The unenlightened folks that carelessly treated me and my family as collateral damage in their ruthless pursuit of their "selves" were eventually faced with horrific tragedies of their own and I never derived satisfaction, only empathy and pain.

 For me, there is no happenstance, just bittersweet tests that make our souls grow. We create our challenges through the choices we make with the free will we are given and only WE are accountable, therefore it is not up to us to deliver comeuppance, as alluring as it may seem.  We should thank those backstabbers for keeping us in top spiritual form. I believe that revenge is a dish that should never be served. Hot or Cold.