Signs, Gestures and the "F" Word

Ok, I got your attention, but contrary to your gutter-gravitating assumptions, this post is not about rush hour road rage in New York City or disgruntled Kim Kardashian fans "occupying the internet" It's about the physical manifestations of a spiritual belief system that many people mock, but most can not exist without.  Whether it is G-d or your  own ability to self-actualize, you have to begin with the most irrational and intangible conviction. It's not Feng shui, but Faith.

I always take offense to the "blind faith" cliche.  Not because I attempt to be a writer and those things have to be avoided like an inebriated co-worker at a holiday party, but because faith is anything but seeing-impaired nor are its followers. It has mistakenly been confused with justice which is not only blind, but a deaf, mute paraplegic as well.   When justice disappoints, our belief and faith in G-d,Karma or a higher power gets us through. Sounds confusing, but I will try to provide my personal proof of faith through one particular "sign".

One night in the midst of an emotional meltdown, (long story, another post)I found myself utterly astray driving up the Henry Hudson Parkway somewhere in the wretched borough of the Bronx. While I usually adore the Bronx, you don't want to be a woman alone wandering on "empty" on one of Jenny's blocks.  When my concerned eldest son phoned me on my cell,  I lost it.  I could not contain the heart-wrenching wailing emanating from my body.  This unnerved my otherwise stoic and perfect progeny.

"Ma, Pull over". he calmly instructed.  I had been aimlessly driving alongside a park on a moonless winter night.  I saw no street lamps, curbs or signs in front of my windshield.  It was "Twilight' without the cute kids in it. "Where are you?' My baby was getting more and more agitated and I was starting to morph into full-blown panic mode.  I don't remember how I pulled the car over, but I know it was something otherworldly.  A gentle, but forceful motion that led me to a tall willow tree. "Ma, where are you. Look for a sign!', he continued to sound more like a hostage negotiator and I couldn't blame him, but through my tears in the darkness was one sign lit by a single streetlamp.  It read "HENSH"and the next two letters were covered by the tree, but through the transparent leaves, I could see the final two letters "A" and "W".  I smiled, knowing the Universe was giving me a "sign". The sign was my name spelled EXACTLY how it is on my birth certificate. The significance of HENSH was the most personal and important proof. That is what my family calls me. HENSHA is my name and W. was the first letter of my married name.  I proceeded to tell my son that I finally saw a street sign and that my name was on it and my very rational, but spiritual son replied.  "Well, Ma. I guess this is a sign!"

I don't profess to understand spiritual matters, but I do know that each one of us have the ability to tap into miraculous resources of faith to guide us through the difficulties of life.  Even in the darkest moments in the Bronx, you can see the light of the signs if you look for them.