With all the tumult and terror happening in the world, I would like to, once again, focus my priorities on a very important issue that affects all of us (especially women)-Social media and texting "etiquette".
Whether trolling for that special someone or living in a third world country which has no clean water, but has wifi, so you can "gently harass" multiple women, there are some rules you just need to obey.
Instead of a list, I'm going to illustrate my point through different scenarios portraying the lack of manners in this digital age. I will contrast and compare the pre-historic ways of communication and courting rituals to today's instant insinuations and instant gratifications. The thesis being that in the old days, we filtered our speech, now we filter our images and let our words rip, literally. (@realDonaldTrump would be exhibit A.)
Here are a few of my own strange encounters which could fill a stadium and have essentially scarred me for life. Please tell me if I'm wrong.
When I first joined FB, I had two pictures, just to be “out there” as a real estate professional. Little did I know, it was a magnet for strangers to send me brilliant messages like "Hey"!!, "’sup?" or "Hey sexy". I could tell that they had put a lot of thought into these messages and I didn't want to be rude, so I would respond that I didn't care to chat with a perfect stranger, especially one that had a profile pic of Daniel Craig, when he was, probably, a married hasidic guy from Boro Park, called “Yoeli” Schwartz. Somehow, I was the one that was rude, because I didn't respond to the barrage of messages that followed and then called a very unflattering word that rhymed with "witch". Not ONE virtual encounter lead to a sale or even a rental, but I’m, pretty, sure there’s a frustrated chick or Pakistani guy using my profile pics for a fake account, since I was hacked several times.
This digital style of courtship is akin to a random guy in his car, shouting “Hey sexy!” at you while you're crossing the street and then expecting you to come into the car and flirt with him. (At least, in this situation, you can see what he looks like…not that I've EVER responded to that:) Just imagine, IRL, where there are no acronyms and you need to actually TALK to a person. Would you dare SAY the things you might text, post or message. I don’t think any of us would. (OK, maybe some native new Yorkers and Israelis) What happened to calling a woman and deciding when to meet? These guys text message all day and I swear I don’t know how people get anything done! To me, it’s extremely passive-aggressive and frankly, frustrating. Maybe I’m just too old for all of this, however this experience has occurred with men of all ages. I find that too many times, misunderstandings occur, because things get “lost in textation”.
Since I am very active on FB, because it’s a terrific forum as a writer and a wonderful way to brand oneself, I get more “action” than most and many don’t understand it and are easily offended. I know that these guys are hitting up many women simultaneously, and when I hear from them sporadically, I don’t say anything, but when they start demanding I see them when they want to or text me at one am, I get upset. It’s not respectful and then there’s the drama…Life’s too stressful and brief for that nonsense.
The bottom line is I really love people and always want to make them happy and thus the problem is probably me. I hate hurting people and then I find myself in situations that I don’t want to be in, because I feel sorry and have compassion. I FEEL too much, even online. In every day existence, I have learned to tiptoe my way through an intricate maze to avoid hurting anyone. It’s very tiring. One guy asked me out over FB and then actually called me and sounded sweet, but the next day I got a call from a pretentious Park Avenue socialite, I had met, but refused to acknowledge that we had met. She inquired if a certain foreigner contacted me and I told her Yes, but we didn’t go out , because he lives halfway around the world. He was an average, nice guy, but not for either of us. She immediately insisted meeting me In the Upper East Side for tea, where she was cursing this same guy out who never met her, but was getting her an apartment in Israel to stay in while she was visiting. They had never met in person, but this vain woman’s ego was smashed and it bothered her and she ignored him. We had a joke, that this would be the first time this bloke took a woman who was maligning him to court, when he never met her. Yup, the glory of Facebook. He and I both lost a “friend”.
The worst is the assumptions people make when looking at your page and your expressions. One guy had the nerve to ask if I had someone “Help” me write. Another was sure that I had a nose job, while yet another accused ME of being an ageist when the guy was 25 and I wouldn't go out with him. I, sarcastically claimed that I wasn't a pedophile.
And then there's Twitter. If you are a masochist, I suggest you join. Twitter is a cesspool of trolls and troubled humans. That’s why I basically just play #hashtag games. It feeds my creativity at times. Recently I tweeted that Planned Parenthood saved my life by giving me free cancer screening where they found a lump in my breast. Some woman asked if it was a mammogram. I said yes. She wrote “YOU”RE BUSTED AND A LIAR. Planned parenthood doesn’t have mammogram equipment.” They did when I was there, but this obviously doesn’t matter because trolls, just want to argue and call you names when they don’t know a thing about you. Another guy sent me pics of his male anatomy. Not Weiner. You can’t believe the craziness.
With all my kvetching. FB has been great to me and even became my job. MY advice. Just stay on Instagram. The only porn you see there is “food Porn”
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