Yesterday was “Tu B’av”. In ancient Jewish Times, this was the night that women, wearing white, danced under the full moon (since there was no electricity and everyone looked great under the moonlight, especially, women of a “certain age”, which was probably 18, in those days) while the men picked out future mates amongst them. (To my knowledge there was no DJ Booth, but alcohol may have been involved.)
To celebrate this auspicious occasion, Jewish Singles, preferably in white, attend various parties, hoping to meet their “bashert” (intended soul mate). Most of these parties are geared towards the young, but there was a small get together for charity at a local Chinese restaurant for the older crowd. (I believe that the Jewish Tradition of eating Chinese food goes back to ancient times. When Abraham was recovering from his “Bris” and the angels came to visit him, he gave them Sesame Chicken and egg rolls. I saw it on intsta with the hashtag #abesanangel #sarahstent)
But, as usual, I digress.
After a meeting with this amazing woman that I’ve become friends with here, we decided to throw caution to the wind and risk our respective “dignity” and attend.
We went to “Dollar Tree”, brought some cleaning products (for the charity) and headed towards the restaurant. We figured we’d at least eat dinner. It was a happy hour event, which was 6-8, the last stages before the dreaded “early bird special”. We entered the dark eating establishment which smelled like bleach, but the food was, surprisingly, fantastic, even with my vegan limitations. We met some very nice people and had an assorted crew of them join us at our table. We had already finished our meal, while the others ordered. Everyone’s got a story and it was interesting to meet the different storytellers. A gentleman that I’ve met previously who wouldn’t reveal his age and even worse, never laughed at any of my jokes sat next to me and didn’t even glance my way. (I was NOT insulted. You hear me?:)
Someone introduced me to a Rabbi there (I’m not naming him, because I want to protect his position)
Me: “Nice to meet you, I’m Henshi.”
Rabbi: “You’re the famous Henshi from Facebook”!
Somber guy not paying me attention nor laughing at my jokes: “You’re famous? I didn’t know that?”
Me: “Oh, so now you’re perking up! “
I think the corners of his mouth may have turned up a bit or maybe he just had gas.)
As I was going to the “big girls’ room”, the owner stopped to ask me how the food was. I told him that I’m a vegan and that whatever I had was superb. He, then, introduced me to the chef who asked,
“We want to start offering more vegan options. Do you have any good recipes”?
I gave him my card and said “Actually, I do!”
You can’t make this stuff up.
The waitress, a young Israeli girl of 21, looked like she was in over her head. I felt bad and gave her a huge tip. When I came back to the table, my friend said.
“The waitress kept asking for the beautiful lady in white, so she could thank you!”
(Yes, I buy compliments. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do!)
In the interim, the rest of the table got the check that was handed over to “somber single guy” who was studying it like it was a contract. I told him, that I was sorry that I only paid for us and he looked at me the way you look at a meth head on the boardwalk. It was time for me to take out the REAL ammunition, so I quipped.
“I’d pay for you too, but If I do, you have to “put out”!
He laughed!
Mission accomplished.
Maybe this is the reason my longest and most stable relationship with a man is with my gay shrink.
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