Sext in the City. Another reason I don't date anymore.

“What’s the matter with you? 

Why aren’t you married, look at you?”

“Why hasn’t someone grabbed you up yet”?

If I had a dollar for every time someone said these phrases to me, I’d be able to book my passage to India and the rest of the world, but sadly, no one pays.  That must be why I’m not married.  If I wanted to take care of an old guy, I would work in a Nursing Home and get paid for it.  I always joke about my age. Yes, I’m still young enough, but the guys my age are busy with nubile young things, not a seasoned woman of vast experience who talks back.  Then there’s the young guys, who are so adorable and earnest.  If they pursue an older woman, they usually are evolved and obviously mature for their age, but we don’t have a mutual frame of reference. How can I be in a serious relationship with someone who doesn’t remember when Steven Tyler looked human?   Therefore, my choices are basically “Diapers”.  I can either date guys who are just getting out of them or those, on the cusp of getting into them. The effin’ circle of lifeJ

Let’s face it, dating is a full-time job, so unless you have been receiving jumbo alimony payments or are independently wealthy, there’s just not enough time. Please don’t tell me to “make time”.  If that means exacerbating my carpal tunnel syndrome with swiping, forget it.  Honestly, I don’t want anyone’s dirty thumbprint traversing my photo either, unless it’s like a “Touch ID” and I get access to the guy’s account or at least frequent flier miles.  Yes, I’m being crude, but the best things in life are not always free.  Especially me.  Again, another reason I’m not married.

An then there's "texting".  It's not the date itself, because the new "dating" and "foreplay" is texting and then sexting. Who has time to do this all day... and with multiple people?? 

I joke a lot about money, because it’s a very sensitive issue for me.  I’m not going to expand on this, other than to say, that money may not buy you happiness, but it gives you the luxury to have the time to find your bliss and it eliminates a lot of stress.  Only wealthy people complain that it causes stress and it’s not easy.  They then dig a deeper philosophical hole, when they moan about everyone pursuing them for their money. That’ s like me walking around in a bikini and complaining that people are pursuing me for my “assets”. Boo hooJ  Get my point?  (I think you can deduce that I’ve dated many a mogul over the years and while some are perfectly nice, there is always an air of entitlement that irritates me.  Again, for another post.

I may sound bitter and maybe I am, just a bit.  The reason I don’t actively “search” is because it’s overwhelming and depressing to see your stats on a profile.  I don’t want to be just some stats and a duckface pose.  I want to be seen for the inner me.  The one that eats with her hands when no one is looking and is insecure.  The one that is vulnerable and wants to feel safe and to trust.  I’m tired of the suit of armor I sometimes need to face the world.  Dating is so unnatural to me.  Whenever I try to dip a toe into the dating pool, I’ve, frankly been horrified by the callousness and incestuous “intersextionality” of it all.  For example, Guy A reaches out to Girl A, Girl B and Girl C. Asks them all out, unbeknownst to any one of them, but they are all “FB" friends and then freak out when someone inadvertently posts a pic or makes the discovery.  Add In Guy B who dated Girl B and C and BINGO, everyone is pissed off. Maybe it’s just me, but when did dating become a deceptive reality show?

I’m getting a little long-winded and I thank you for reading my rant.  Next time you see me,
PLEASE don’t ask me why I’m not married….Maybe it’s because I"d rather be with my much younger boyfriend.  My 19 month old grandson.