Where has all the sex appeal gone? Uchhhh!

I have one question (Usually, I am allowed four, especially on Passover), Why when it comes to sex appeal  did our creator click the "deselect" box on his chosen "men"? I mean, besides Adam. who seemed to be a hybrid of a primal Brad Pitt and "Max" from "Dancing with the Stars,(yes I saw his FB page ) the male members of the tribe have usually resembled George Constanza in all of his shlubby glory.  Why, G-d, Why??  Wait, Adam wasn't even Jewish!  My Point? Jewish Men are NOT sexy.

Growing up in Crown Heights it seemed that the girls were all stylish and beautiful, while the guys conformed to the handsome, yet asexual, cerebral jewish stereotype.  At one point in my puberty, I thought that I may have needed to consult a shrink to see if there was a serious psycho-sexual defect in my chemical make-up.  I never had a boyfriend or felt any kind of attraction towards the specimens walking up Kingston Avenue. The fact that I went to an all-girls school and was told to stay away from the opposite sex might have been a contributing factor.  Regardless, I knew when I covertly surveyed the St. Patricks Day Parade, there was  an overload of testosterone and heat- stirring pheromones outside the shtetl in them thar hills of Central Park amongst the "cloister clusters". I was relieved to feel like a normal teenager.  Being the people-pleasing good girl that I was, I refrained from the forbidden gentile.  Besides, I didn't want to get struck down by G-d on Fifth Avenue in the horrific outfit I was wearing that day. I mean what would they tell my family?

I know we Jews have so much more to offer than superficiality. We are intelligent, talented, ambitious and money-hungry, um I mean financially successful, people. (sorry about that one) We have fought, survived, created and contributed to all of the cultures in this world.  We are resilient, compassionate and make great knishes, bagels and deli.  I won't quote Mark Twain's observations of the Jew, but I WILL quote Gen Custer who said "It is not how many times you are knocked down, but it is how many times you get UP."  We jews personify this admirable trait...  so what if we are missing most of the hunk factor? I mean you can't send four kids to private school and college on sexual charisma!

I really do apologize to my brothers (as opposed to my"brothas") We love you for who you are and all the vacations and jewelry we get.  Most of all we love the way you love us and spoil us, but why can't you be like the guys in Spain and Italy...Sex on a stick?